[BITList] A Washington DC 'Airport Ticket Agent'

[FA]

A little something I received from a friend of mine in Texas who still 
has a sense of humour,
No wonder the yanks are spying on everyone else, they are trying to 
build up a bigger knowledge data base for Congress.


            An 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples*_of why the
            US is in so much trouble! _*

            1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter)
            ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed
            up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

            2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer
            (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town . I started
            to explain the length of the flight and the passport
            information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not
            trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in
            Massachusetts ...''

            Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained,
            '' Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South
            Africa ...'' His response -- click.

            3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called,
            furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
            wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was
            expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not
            possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

            He replied, 'Don't lie to me! I looked on the map, and
            Florida is a very THIN state!!'' (OMG)

            4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who
            asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''

            I said, ''No.''

            She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)

            5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once
            called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled
            up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover
            in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
            said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a
            car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

            6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last
            week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight
            from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m. and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

            I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois ,
            but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
            Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought
            that. (Must be blonde.)

            7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked,
            ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so
            they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why
            do you ask?'

            He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they
            put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight.
            I think that's very rude!''

            After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into
            it, (I was dying laughing), I came back and explained the
            city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal),
            and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his
            luggage.

            8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to
            inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over
            all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly
            to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

            9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman,
            Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ''How do I know which
            plane to get on?''

            I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I
            was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes
            have numbers on them.''

            10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to
            fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida . Do I have to get on one of
            those little computer planes?''

            I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter
            plane. She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

            11. Mary Landrieu , La. Senator, called and had a question
            about the documents she needed in order to fly to China .
            After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her
            that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China
            many times and never had to have one of those.''

            I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.
            When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China
            four times and every time they have accepted my American
            Express!''

            12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make
            reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''

            I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure
            that's the name of the town?''

            ''Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

            After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir,
            I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't
            find a Rhino anywhere."

            The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where
            it is. Check your map!''

            So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
            offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''

            The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
            *_
            Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!_*

            Could ANYONE be this DUMB?

            *_YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY
            CONTINUE TO BREED.

            I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.
            Like manure, you just gotta spread it around_*.



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