[BITList] Fwd: Old age....sorry!
M.j. Feltham
ismay at mjfeltham.plus.com
Mon Nov 4 15:57:41 GMT 2013
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> While on a road trip, an elderly couple, Stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.
> After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.
> When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.
> By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
> All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive.
> The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrive at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, Brian, the old geezer yelled to her, While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.
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> This coming week is National Senior Mental Health Week. You can do YOUR part by remembering to contact at least one unstable Senior to show you care...
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> I have now done MY part.
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> Subject: Old age....sorry!
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> Old age....sorry!
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> TO SHARE WITH OLD FOLKS YOU MAY KNOW ........
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> A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship
> And orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.'
> The bartender says 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.
> In fact, this one is on me.'
> As the woman finishes her drink
> The woman to her right says
> 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'
> The old woman says
> 'Thank you.
> Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
> 'Coming up' says the bartender
> As she finishes that drink,
> The man to her left says
> 'I would like to buy you one, too.'
> The old woman says
> 'Thank you.
> Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
> 'Coming right up' the bartender says.
> As he gives her the drink,he says
> 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
> Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'
> The old woman replies
> 'Sonny, when you're my age,
> You've learned how to hold your liquor...
> Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
> Your sweetie says
> 'Let's go upstairs and make love'
> And you answer:
> 'Pick one, I can't do both!'
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
> Your friends compliment you
> On your new alligator shoes
> And you're barefoot!
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
> A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy ....
> And your pacemaker opens the garage door!
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN....
> You don't care where your spouse goes
> .. Just as long as you don't have to go along.
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
> You are cautioned to slow down
> By the doctor instead of by the police
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
> 'Getting lucky' means you find your car
> .. In the parking lot.
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> 'OLD' IS WHEN...
> An 'all nighter' means not getting up
> To use the bathroom.
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> AND
> 'OLD' IS WHEN.....
> You are not sure these are jokes!
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> Have a good day!
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> "Young at heart"
> (slightly older in other places!)
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> No virus found in this message.
> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
> Version: 2014.0.4158 / Virus Database: 3615/6804 - Release Date: 11/02/13
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