[BITList] Beijinglish! This'll surely make you smile.

[Malcolm]

This reads like the brochure that we got from the hotel when we went to
Spain in 1964for the first time.

A lady went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It
is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed.
Obviously, it has been transliterated directly, word for word from Mandarin
to English 

		Getting There:
		Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The
bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in
passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because
you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall.
He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
		
		The Hotel:
		This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of
course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are
available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to
conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that
ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games,
so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
		
		The Restaurant:
		Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and
unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and
fiddle with you.
		
		Your Room:
		Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts.
In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of
outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since
the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
		
		Bed
		Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition.
If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take
advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses
and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
		
		Above all:
		When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have
no hope. You will struggle to forget it."