[BITList] Fwd: [vsdh] Cows and Economies

[M.j. Feltham]

> Subject: world economy explained with 2 cows.....
> 
> SIMPLY AMAZING!!!!
> 
> 
>                                                                                
> 
> SOCIALISM 
> 
> You have 2 cows. 
> 
> You give one to your neighbour. 
> 
> 
> 
> COMMUNISM 
> 
> You have 2 cows 
> 
> The State takes both and gives you some milk. 
> 
> 
> 
> FASCISM 
> 
> You have 2 cows. 
> 
> The State takes both and sells you some milk. 
> 
> 
> 
> BUREAUCRATISM 
> 
> You have 2 cows. 
> 
> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away. 
> 
> 
> 
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM 
> 
> You have two cows. 
> 
> You sell one and buy a bull. 
> 
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. 
> 
> You sell them and retire on the income. 
> 
> 
> 
> VENTURE CAPITALISM 
> 
> You have two cows. 
> 
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. 
> 
> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. 
> 
> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. 
> 
> 
> 
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION 
> 
> You have two cows. 
> 
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. 
> 
> Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died. 
> 
> 
> 
> A FRENCH CORPORATION 
> 
> You have two cows. 
> 
> You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. 
> 
> 
> 
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION 
> 
> You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. 
> 
> You decide to have lunch. 
> 
> 
> 
> A SWISS CORPORATION 
> 
> You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. 
> 
> You charge the owners for storing them. 
> 
> 
> 
> A CHINESE CORPORATION 
> 
> You have two cows. 
> 
> You have 300 people milking them. 
> 
> You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. 
> 
> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. 
> 
> 
> 
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION 
> 
> You have two cows. 
> 
> You worship them. 
> 
> 
> 
> A BRITISH CORPORATION 
> 
> You have two cows. 
> 
> Both are mad. 
> 
> 
> 
> AN IRAQI CORPORATION 
> 
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. 
> 
> You tell them that you have none. 
> 
> Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. 
> 
> You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy. 
> 
> 
> 
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION 
> 
> You have two cows. 
> 
> Business seems pretty good. 
> 
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. 
> 
> 
> 
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION 
> 
> You have two cows. 
> 
> The one on the left looks very attractive. 
> 
> 
> 
> A GREEK CORPORATION 
> 
> You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks. 
> 
> You eat both of them. 
> 
> The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. 
> 
> The IMF loans you two cows. 
> 
> You eat both of them. 
> 
> The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk. 
> 
> You are out getting a haircut.
> -- 

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