[BITList] Quotes

FA franka at iinet.net.au
Thu Jan 24 08:11:06 GMT 2013


Some thoughtful thoughts
frank


America is the only country where a significant proportion of the 
population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon 
landing was faked.
~ David Letterman
*****
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire.
~ Howard Hughes
*****
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
~ Italian proverb
*****
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over 
them for 30 years.
~ Betsy Salkind
*****
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the 
strength of the lifeboats.
~ Jean Kerr
*****
I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take 
out the garbage.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
*****
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
~ Jeff Foxworthy
*****
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new 
wife.
~ Prince Philip
*****
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
~ Emo Philips.
****
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
~ Harrison Ford
****
The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.
~ Spike Milligan
*****
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.
~ Robin Hall
*****
Kill one man and you're a murderer —kill a million and you're a conqueror.
~ Jean Rostand.
*****
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have $50 million but I'm 
just as happy as when I had $48 million.
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger.
*****
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here 
for, I have no idea.
~ WH Auden
*****
In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the 
furniture naked.
~ Jonathan Katz
*****
If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the 
impersonators would be dead.
~ Johnny Carson
*****
I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very sceptical.
~ Arthur C Clarke
*****
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a 
man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
~ Steve Martin
*****
Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is.
~ Jimmy Durante
*****
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every 
part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
~ John Glenn
*****
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their 
feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat?
~ Steven Wright
*****
America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric.
~ Doug Hamwell
*****
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
~ George Roberts
*****
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the 
airport
~ Jonathan Winters
*****
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
~ Robert Benchley



-- 
Paul Scrafton
Phone: +61754837478 <tel:%2B61754837478>
Mobile: +61(0)447548241 <tel:%2B61%280%29447548241>
Skype: paulscrafton



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