[BITList] USA Divorce agreement

[franka]

    __

    DIVORCE AGREEMENT--
    WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT*
    The person who wrote this is a college student. Perhaps there is
    hope for us after all._

    DIVORCE AGREEMENT_


    THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A
    YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.



    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
    Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since
    the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this
    latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I
    know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
    generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.



    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree
    on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms.
    We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go
    our own way.



    Here is a our separation agreement:


    --Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass
    each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but
    I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After
    that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives
    can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such
    distinct and disparate tastes.



    --We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.


    --You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
    --Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops,
    the NRA and the military.


    --We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and
    you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.


    --You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are,
    however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to
    move all three of them.



    --We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
    companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.


    --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps,
    homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.


    --We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.


    --We'll keep Bill O?Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .



    --You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the
    right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.


    --You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or
    our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.



    --We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.


    --You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political
    correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we
    will no longer be paying the bill.



    --We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You
    can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.


    --You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
    doctors.


    --We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National
    Anthem."


    --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to
    Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".


    --We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give
    trickle up poverty your best shot.



    --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name
    and our flag.



    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
    like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not
    agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet
    you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.



    Sincerely,


    John J. Wall


    Law Student and an American



    P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie
    Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &*

    *( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.



    P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our
    country.



    Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This Going, Maybe
    Some Of It Will Start Sinking In!!*






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