[BITList] BARNSLEY MAN:

Wed Feb 27 11:44:24 GMT 2013

----- 

 One day a Barnsley man decided to retire...

Description:
cid:913D82E2B55247FE81F0100F5E94FF61 at SteveHome

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of
his life, that is, until the ship sank.

Description:
cid:AFD5DB44903048AB86B6FF7AA6F577B3 at SteveHome

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

Description:
cid:CCF90E3284F74D548E1457888F68C349 at SteveHome

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

Description:
cid:9548C192F0354A16B0A0A8D69E181533 at SteveHome

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed
when my cruise ship sank.."

"Amazing," he notes... "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw
material I found on the island.  The oars were whittled from gum tree
branches.  I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and
stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the
island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed.  I found that if
I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron,
I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.  So, after a short time of rowing,
she soon docks the boat at a small wharf.

As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat..  Before him is a
long stone walk leading to a cabin and treehouse.

Description:
cid:64DB8557DD764F7CAEDAD2ECD8467F29 at SteveHome

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the
man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.  As they walk into the house, she
says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home.  Sit down, please."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No!  No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed..  "I can't take
another drop of coconut juice"

"It's not coconut juice" winks the woman, "I have a still, how would you
like a Tropical Spritz?"

Description:
cid:F1DF1D7BC98D48079FCD4E3BF91C3591 at SteveHome

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down
on her couch to talk.. 
After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces,
"I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.  Would you like to take
a shower and shave?  There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything, the Barnsley lad goes upstairs into the
bathroom.  There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise
bone.  Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end
inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses.  "What's next?"  When he returns, she
greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each
strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias.  She then
beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both
been out here for many months.  You must have been lonely. There's something
I'm certain you feel like right now, something you've been longing for,
right?" She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean ..."  he swallows excitedly as
tears start to form in his eyes,

"You've made a chip pan?"

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com/ 
Version: 8.5.455 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/5624 - Release Date: 02/22/13
17:49:00

This email message has been delivered safely and archived online by
Mimecast.
For more information please visit http://www.mimecast.com/ 

No virus found in this message.
Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com/
Version: 2013.0.2899 / Virus Database: 2641/6130 - Release Date: 02/25/13

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20130227/7b688d56/attachment-0001.htm 
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: not available
Type: image/jpeg
Size: 12768 bytes
Desc: not available
Url : http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20130227/7b688d56/attachment-0002.jpeg 
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: not available
Type: image/jpeg
Size: 26773 bytes
Desc: not available
Url : http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20130227/7b688d56/attachment-0003.jpeg 
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: not available
Type: image/gif
Size: 41576 bytes
Desc: not available
Url : http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20130227/7b688d56/attachment-0004.gif 
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: not available
Type: image/gif
Size: 190576 bytes
Desc: not available
Url : http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20130227/7b688d56/attachment-0005.gif 
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: not available
Type: image/gif
Size: 146477 bytes
Desc: not available
Url : http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20130227/7b688d56/attachment-0006.gif 
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: not available
Type: image/gif
Size: 67218 bytes
Desc: not available
Url : http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20130227/7b688d56/attachment-0007.gif 