[BITList] Don't mess with kids

FA franka at iinet.net.au
Sat Apr 27 06:27:25 BST 2013






*A**little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a 
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very 
small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a 
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.*

*A**Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while 
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each 
child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what 
the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl 
replied, 'They will in a minute.'*
*
*
*A****Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 
five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, 
she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our 
brothers and sisters?'
 >From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou 
shall not kill.'*

*O**ne day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the 
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had 
several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your 
hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and 
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 
'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
**


I love this one!*

*T**he children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to 
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up 
and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a 
doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the 
teacher, she's dead.'
**

**A**teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying 
to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my 
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in 
the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.****
**'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary 
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,****'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
**
**
I LIKE THE NEXT ONE IN PARTICULAR
**
**T**he children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary 
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. 
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE. God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a 
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the 
apples....'
**

**~~**I**t doesn't matter how many people you send this to; just 
remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.*


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