[BITList] Gotta Love Those Aussies

[franka]

This is fabulous - do read the bottom Q&A !!

Description: cid:X.MA1.1308650419 at aol.com*_
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are 
the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a 
great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for 
cretins!)_*

__________________________________________________*
Q:* */Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on 
TV, how do the plants grow? (/*UK).

A:*We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching 
them die.*
__________________________________________________*

Q: */Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( /USA )*

A*:Depends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________*

Q:*/I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the rail road 
tracks? ( /Sweden)

A: *Sure. It's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water. *
__________________________________________________*

Q:* */Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me 
a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( /*UK)*

A*: *What did your last slave die of?*
__________________________________________________*

Q*:*/Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? 
( /*USA)

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings 
Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________*

Q:*/Which direction is North in Australia ? (/USA )

A: *Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here 
and we'll send the rest of the directions. *
_________________________________________________*

Q:* */Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( /*UK )
A:  Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________*

Q:*/Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (/USA)

A: *Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which 
is.... Oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday 
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q:* */Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( /*UK*/)/*
A: *You are a British politician, right?*
__________________________________________________*

Q:*/Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year 
round? (/*/Germany/*)*

A*: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers._
Milk is illegal_.
__________________________________________________

Q:/Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense 
rattlesnake serum. ( /USA*/)/*

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and 
make good pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:/I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget 
its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (/USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of 
Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you 
go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q:/I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you 
tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( /USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Q:/Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (/France)

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: /Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( /USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.







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