[BITList] Fwd: [vsdh] Fw: Lexiphiles

[Michael Feltham]

Begin forwarded message:

From: "Doreen Grezoux" <dorgray at tpg.com.au>
Subject: [vsdh] Fw: Lexiphiles
Date: 30 November 2011 20:27:16 GMT
To: "vsdh list" <vsdh at lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com>
Reply-To: vsdh <vsdh at lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com>

Some corny..  some good!
 
Doreen
Sent: Thursday, December 01, 2011 5:51 AM
Subject: FW: Lexiphiles


------ 
 
  
      Lexiphile (i.e., "lovers of  words" you know . . . . like . . .. you can tune a piano, but you can't  tuna fish . . . or, 
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . .  . .. then it hit me . . . .etc.). 



To write with a broken  pencil is . . . pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes  . . . take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve  months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . .  U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes .  . . was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out . . . free of  charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought  tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

If you  don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.

With her  marriage, she got a new name . .. . and a dress.

Show me a piano  falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.

You  are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.

Local Area  Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is .  . . hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've  seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a  three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the  fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He's all right  now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . .. jog  your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; . . . it is two  tired.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, . .  . it's your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes  back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . .  was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory . . . which was  never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be .  . . exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray  hair, . . . she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: . . . a jab well  done.


 



 
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