[BITList] Fw: Notes left in milk bottles

[John Davison]

: Notes left in milk bottles - remember the good old days?
 
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>>After reading this, I realize why they stopped door-to-door delivery!!! 
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>>Dear milkman: 
>>I've just had a baby, please leave another one. 
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>>Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk. 
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>>Cancel one pint after the day after today. 
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>>Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it. 
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>>Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep 
>>pecking the tops off the milk. 
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>>Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today. 
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>>Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two 
>>sons on the dole. 
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>>Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and 
>>I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks. 
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>>Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen 
>>pints, but the other way round. 
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>>When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me 
>>because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress. 
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>>Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's 
>>Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over 
>>a cup of tea? 
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>>My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you 
>>deliver or do I have to shake the bottle? 
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>>Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months 
>>old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me. 
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>>Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant. 
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>>Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it. 
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>>From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on 
>>the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want 
>>any milk. 
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>>My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of 
>>cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we 
>>want to play bingo tonight. 
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>>Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I 
>>wrote this note yesterday. 
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>>When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog 
>>out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any 
>>milk. 
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>>No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead 
>>until further notice. 
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>>Good aren't they! Forward them on and make someone else smile today. 
>>
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