[BITList] Fwd: Jokes only understood in Scotland

[HUGH MCINTYRE]

John,
 
Every one a gem.  Not all Glasgow, however - Oor Wullie came from Dundee. To the list I can add one ancient Scottish joke.  Man to friend, "Did you hear about the pregnant cow?  She had a week aff."
 
On Dilwara, Jim Duff and Beaton Clubb, both hailing from in and around Furry Boots City Aberdeen), could give problems to fellow Scots if they lapsed deep enough into the Doric.
 
I was in Glasgow not 2 hours ago (nothing to do with jokes), in Sainsbury's at the top of Buchanan Street.  I was at the bit where one is told to put the card in the machine - as if there was anything else one could do with it.  The card reader was fixed vertically, on a level with my chest.  I stooped to see the screen, meanwhile the lady was telling me for the second time to put in my PIN and press Enter.  The bloody screen was unlit, with faint traces on it, and the keys were unresponsive.  I hit the buttons for in my PIN and Enter, and nothing happened other than that the increasingtly annoying woman told me I hadn't put in my PIN as requested.  I told her her machine was useless, but she kept to her script.  At about the 4th go it worked.  When I got to the bus station, there was a chap in the Elfin Safety dayglo jacket barring entrance. Everyone asked everyone else what was up, but nobody knew and the man had nothing to say that I could
 hear.  Eventually he noticed the few dozen of us and said there other entrances.  Passing another of the same I asked him was was up.  Fire alarm tests, he said.  Aye, right, thought I.
 
So that's been today until now.
 
Hugh.
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