[BITList] Grandpa and the ATO (Australian Tax Office)

[FS]

*The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the ATO.

The ATO auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his solicitor.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no 
full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money 
gambling. I'm not sure the ATO finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa.. 'How about a 
demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my 
other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, 
with Grandpa's solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand 
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that 
waste paper basket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in 
between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and 
decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so 
he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he 
strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the waste paper basket 
on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major 
loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the solicitor. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me 
he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars 
that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be 
happy about it!'

I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!*

	




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