[BITList] Fwd: The 5 Best Smart Arsed Answers of 2009

[Michael Feltham]

Begin forwarded message:

From: "Don Crellin" 
Date: 16 March 2010 17:55:28 GMT
To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>
Subject: Fw: The 5 Best Smart Arsed Answers of 2009

 
 
 
 

 
 
 

THE  5  BEST SMART ARSED ANSWERS OF 2009 

SMART ARSED ANSWER 5 
It was  mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:  
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the  man seated 
in the front row. 
"What are my  choices?" the man asked.  
"Yes or no," she  replied. 

SMART ARSED ANSWER  4 
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a  branch of 
Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find  one big enough for her family..  
She asked a passing  assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" 
The  assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."  

SMART ARSED ANSWER 3 
The policeman got  out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for 
speeding,  rolled down his window.  
"I've been waiting for you  all day," the bobby said.  
The kid replied, "Well I  got here as fast as I could."  
When the policeman finally  stopped laughing, he sent the kid on 
his way without a  ticket. 

SMART ARSED ANSWER  2 
A lorry driver was driving along on a  country road. A sign came 
up that read " Low Bridge  Ahead." 
Before he realised it, the bridge was  directly ahead and he got 
stuck under it.. 
Cars  were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car arrived.  The 
policeman got out of his car and walked to the  lorry's cab and 
said to the driver, "Got stuck,  eh?" 

The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering  this bridge and ran  
out of  diesel!" 

SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR  2009 
A teacher at a polytechnic college  reminded her pupils of  
tomorrow's final  exam. 
"Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for  you not being 
here tomorrow. I might consider a  nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, 
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but  that's it, no other  
excuses whatsoever!" 
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of  the room raised his hand and  
asked ,"What would happen  if I came in tomorrow suffering from 
complete and utter  sexual exhaustion?" The entire class was reduced  to 
laughter  and sniggering. 
  
When silence  was restored, the teacher smiled 
at the student, shook her  head and sweetly said, "Well, I 
would expect you to write  the exam with your other hand."  
 
 
 

 

 
 

 

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