[BITList] Wal-Martians again

Fri Jul 23 05:30:58 BST 2010

OMG..................................

words fail me!

ct

                                Wal-Mart does it again ..... where America shops ..... 

                                WARNING: Wal-Mart Shoppers Ahead! 

                                You have no idea how exhausting it can be putting on tight purple sweat pants! 
                                Pensacola, Florida 

                                I call a new rule at Wal-mart: If the hole in your jeans is big enough for me to slip my hand inside and sneak a little squeeze, then by golly you best be on guard!  The squeezer, however, retains the right to either squeeze or not to squeeze!   
                                Sarasota, Florida 

                                Unfortunately, the only strap working on this entire outfit is the one holding that hideous hair in place.  Is that former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker's wife or is that Paul Volcker? 
                                Los Angeles, California 

                                Don't laugh!  Its okay, because Bambi's granddaughter borrowed her skirt.  Plus, today is combination Casual Friday and Crazy Hair Day, all rolled in to one. 
                                College Station,  Texas 

                                Apparently, Lester Flem doesn't know whether he's homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, or asexual.  However, if you look up the word 'Transgender' in the dictionary...BINGO!!!!  There you will see a picture of dear old flaming Lester in his boots.Laguna Niguel, California 

                                Where exactly does one buy a short pink outfit like this to beef shop in? 
                                Birmingham, Alabama 

                                So, this is either a cross-dressing nautical Popeye enthusiast OR �.... well, fill in anything.  It really doesn't matter, because nothing we say will make any sense.  Who lets these people out of the house un-championed? 
                                Destin, Florida 

                                Those purple shorts are HOT! I saw those same shorts one time on an elephant in a circus in Belarus.  The house shoes make the outfit! 
                                Columbus, Ohio 

                                Whatever happened to No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service?  Is that a turban on his head or a serving of Jiffy-Pop?  Is the girl in the background taking a picture or teaching the guy in the black wife beater T-shirt to play, "Here is the church and here is the steeple.  Open it up and here are the people!"  Is the chick in the green bikini top putting on makeup?  Honey, you should have saved your money and purchased either a T-shirt or a case of Slim Fast. 
                                Baton Rouge, Louisiana 

                                Agerton?  Is that you?  What do you expect me to say?  That's exactly what he looks like from the rear.  True, I've never seen Agerton in heels.  Still, if I told you there is a picture where purple hair is the least weird thing going on, would you believed me?  Honestly, is that a man or a woman or is Lester Flem back in the store?   Mobile, Alabama 

                                Britney Spears has done let herself go again. 
                                Slidell, Louisiana 

                                Dear Mrs. Razzlebone-Karbofski, it was cute to dress your boys Festus and Cletus alike when they were two years old, but at 45?  Well, not so much!  ..... Suddenly, Festus says, "Hey, Cletus, I been thankin.  If my truck could travel faster than the speed of light, would my headlights work?" 
                                Tifton, Georgia 

                                I am so embarrassed.  Seriously, I have no idea how this photo of my son's 5th Grade history teacher and part-time Gun Care Instructor, Miss Cinnamon Goodpicker, got mixed in with this roll of film.   
                                Katy, Texas 

                                Packing this rear in camouflage shorts is like trying to hide an elephant behind a squirrel. 
                                Seattle, Washington 

                                For some reason, I have to assume that no matter where Zebulon goes, Dueling Banjos suddenly starts playing from out of nowhere. 
                                Atmore, Alabama 

                                And men claim they can't meet classy women in stores?  Go figure! 
                                Louisville, Kentucky 

                                Is that a THONG Ollie Hopnoddle is wearing?  I can't look again or I'll go blind.  Mountain Brook, Alabama 

                                For my own sanity, I have to assume that Gussie Klothgrunt is shoplifting two pork roasts in her shirt.  Simply because there is no possible way that can be anything other that two pork roasts in her shirt.  Can't be! 
                                Forestdale, Alabama 

                                No way, Laquanda, absolutely not!  That outfit does not at all make you look like a Hooker. 
                                Midlothian, Virginia 

                                Aw yes, don't you just love the holiday season in Easley!!  I hope Abe is buying some new shirts. Is it really necessary to say ANYTHING ELSE? 
                                Easley, South Carolina 

                                On first glance, did it appear to anyone else that Gisella's dog is coming out her butt? 
                                Orem, Utah 

                                It's like a big pink garbage bag filled with creamed corn and door knobs. 
                                Houston, Texas 

                                Mesmerized here at the Wal-mart Hiring Center , Pinetop thinks this is his lucky day because his mechanic called an hour ago and said, "I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder."  Besides, all his redneck buddies told him he was a lock to get this job at Wal-mart, provided he can remember not to smoke weed or drink beer during the job interview. 
                                Austin, Texas 

                                This is perfectly understandable.  Elena Kagan was just on her way to the Country Club when she remembered she need some coffee and a couple of yoga videos.  Besides, she thought to herself, I'll just throw on these gray shorts and I'll be smokin.  Nashville, Tennessee 

                                Don't worry, I've already forwarded this picture to Burberry Worldwide in London .  I thought it would be beneficial for them to be reminded of why they got into the fashion and design industry in the first place.  I'm sure Burberry will be ecstatic over seeing their vision spring to life.  Exciting, too, is how Lulu's slippers simply make those shorts POP!! 
                                Did anyone notice her boyfriend is wearing an Auburn T-shirt?  Don't look at me!  I didn't take the picture or tell Tater to go to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night with his flashy runway model girlfriend. 
                                Opelika, Alabama 

                                Is that a baby dangling from Raylene's waist like a fanny pack? I don't believe I've ever seen anything like that before.  The only thing wrong with the gene pool around the Ozarks is there's no lifeguard.  Fort Smith, Arkansas 

                                I love talking with Freidagurtz Finkelstein, because she always seems so surprised and interested in what I have to say. 
                                Grand Rapids, Michigan 

                                Holy Golden Illusions of Grandeur, I gotta get me that outfit!!!! 
                                Alpharetta, Georgia 

                                Toss in some cat food and Cooter is the loneliest guy in town! 
                                Fort Payne, Alabama 

                                Someone else can try to figure out what she's doing, because I have to go wash my eyes out with bleach. 
                                Oxford, Mississippi 

                                Either that lady has a tail or Barney is stuck where the sun doesn't shine. 
                                Loves Park, Illinois 

                                I'm not sure what kinky Bathsheba Squeal plans to do with that pie filling, but there is just something about her that tells me she doesn't bake, she doesn't watch Rachael Ray and she has no intention of using that pie filling in the kitchen. 
                                La Verne, California 

                                I have infinite admiration for the sheer strength of good quality denim.  Moreover, I will be eternally thankful if Honeysuckle's jeans wait until she reaches the truck to explode.  Seriously, they should consider using denim on the next NASA space shuttle. 
                                Spring, Texas 

                                For those times when you need fried okra and chicken strips so bad, that you just can't wait for the bleach to set. 
                                Montgomery, Alabama 

                                Is it even legal to sell that shade of pink?  I love the way Ms. Incense Berkowitz color coordinated her reusable shopping bag to match her shoes, purse, leggings, shirt, jacket, earrings and necklace.  If a bra had been necessary, do you think for one second it would have been any color other than SHRIEKING PINK?? 
                                Glendale, California 

                                I warned Ronnie not to wear that shirt out of the house.  Please, someone go provoke him.  I want to see him whack somebody upside the head with a two 2-liter bottle of Squirt! 
                                Brewton, Alabama 

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