[BITList] First Date

Mon Dec 20 00:17:20 GMT 2010

This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake..

Jay Leno went into  the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever  had.  The winner described her worst first date  experience.

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale  took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite  cold... And the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt  Lake City , Utah ..  It was a day trip (no overnight).  They  were strangers, after all, and had never met before.

The outing  was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that  afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she  gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra  latte.  They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room  and in the middle of nowhere!  Her companion suggested she try to  hold it, which she did for awhile.  Unfortunately, because of the  heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he  had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front  seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside  the car, yanked her pants down and started.  In the deep snow she  didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear  fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the  car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained  from peeking.  All she could think about was the relief she felt  despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon  finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.  As  she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks  were firmly glued against the car's fender.  Thoughts of tongues  frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage  her flesh from the icy metal.  It was quickly apparent that she had  a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her  plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's  concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she  was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance!  He  came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and  then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out  laughing.  She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed  to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as  hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real  problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!  Thinking about what had  gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realised that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in  laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.

Or perhaps  that should be 'pants down. '  And you thought your first date was  embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new  meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh, and how did the first date turn  out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno  show.

If you laughed at this, pass it on.  If you didn't  laugh, you need a better sense of humour. 