[BITList] Eskimo Nell

[FS]

    *//*Im sure it used to be longer than this

    frank

    When men grow old and their balls get cold and the tips of their
    knobs turn blue,
    Looking back on life, 'midst struggle and strife, they could tell
    you a tale or two.
    So buy me a drink and I will think and a tale to you I'll tell
    Of Dead-Eye Dick and his muscular prick and a whore named Eskimo Nell.

    When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete set out in search of fun,
    'Twas Dead-Eye Dick who swung the prick and Mexican Pete the gun,
    When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete felt sore, depressed or sad,
    'Twas mainly cunt that bore the brunt, though the shootings weren't
    too bad.

    Now Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete were working Deadman's Creek;
    They'd had no luck, by way of a fuck, for nigh on over a week,
    But a moose or two and a caribou and a bison cow or so;
    Since Dead-Eye Dick's was the king of pricks he found this fucking
    slow.

    So Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete set out for the Rio Grande;
    Dead-Eye Dick with his mighty prick and Pete with his gun in his hand.
    And as they blazed their randy way no man their path withstood,
    And many a bride, her husband's pride, knew pregnant widowhood.

    They hit the banks of the Rio Grande at the height of a blazing noon;
    To slake their thirst and do their worst they sought Red Mike's saloon.
    Came crashing in with doors aswing, both prick and gun flashed free;
    'According to sex, you bloody wrecks, you'll drink or fuck with me.'

    Now they knew this trick of Dead-Eye Dick from the Horn to Panama,
    With nothing worse than a muttered curse those gringoes sought the bar.
    And girls knew too his playful ways from down on the Rio Grande
    And forty whores let down their drawers at Dead-Eye Dick's command.

    They saw the finger of Mexican Pete twitch on that pistol grip;
    They didn't wait but at a fearful rate those whores began to strip,
    While Dead-Eye Dick was breathing quick with lecherous snorts and
    grunts,
    Till forty arses were bared to view and likewise forty cunts.

    Now forty arses and forty cunts, you'll see if you can use your wits,
    And if you're quick at arithmetic is likewise four-score tits.
    Now four-score tits is a gladsome sight to a man with a mighty stand,
    It may be rare on New York Square but it's not on the Rio Grande.

    Now Dead-Eye Dick had had a few on the last preceding night,
    And this he'd done in a spirit of fun to whet his appetite.
    His mighty knob was in fighting trim as he backed and took a run,
    And landed square in the nearest quim and scored a hole in one.

    He bored her to the sandy floor and he fairly fucked her fine
    And though she grinned it put the wind up the other thirty-nine.
    When Dead-Eye Dick performs this trick one can do nought but stare;
    With speed and strength on top of length he fairly singes hair.

    Now Dead-Eye Dick he fucks 'em quick---he cast the first aside
    And made a dart at the second tart, when the swing doors opened wide.
    Then entered in to that hall of sin, into that harlots' hell,
    A lusty maid who was unafraid---and her name was Eskimo Nell.

    Now Dead-Eye Dick had got his prick well into number two
    When Eskimo Nell let out a yell and loudly voiced 'Hey you!'
    A startled flick of the muscular prick and the girl flew over his head;
    He whirled about with snarling shout, both face and tool deep red.

    But Eskimo Nell she took it well and looked him between the eyes;
    She gazed with scorn at the steaming horn as it rose from his hairy
    thighs.
    She blew a puff of cigarette smoke over that flaming knob,
    And so dead beat was Mexican Pete that he failed to do his job.

    'Twas Eskimo Nell who broke the spell in accents clear and cool:
    'You cunt-struck simp of a Yankee pimp, d'you call that thing a tool?'
    'If there's none in this town can take that down,' she sneered at
    the quivering whores,
    'Here's a little cunt that will do the stunt, and it's Eskimo Nell
    for yours.'

    She shed her garments one by one, with an air of conscious pride,
    Till there she stood in her womanhood and they saw the great divide.
    Though, fair to state, 'twas not too great, but it had a solid rim,
    Viewed from without it left no doubt of the tensile strength within.

    She spread herself on a table-top where someone had left a glass---
    A twitch of her tits and it smashed to bits, 'twixt the muscular
    cheeks of her arse.
    She raised her knees with supple ease and spread them far apart;
    With a smiling nod to the randy sod, she gave him the cue to start.

    But Dead-Eye Dick knew a trick or two and so he took his time;
    A tart like this was coital bliss, so he played a pantomine.
    He pumped his foreskin up and down and made his balls inflate
    Till they looked like a couple of granite knobs on top of a garden
    gate.

    He winked his arsehole in and out as his balls increased in size;
    The mighty prick grew twice as thick and nearly reached his eyes.
    He smothered it with alcohol to make it steaming hot,
    And to finish the job he peppered his knob with a cayenne pepper pot.

    He didn't back to take a run, nor make a flying leap;
    He didn't swoop but 'gan to stoop and steadily forward creep.
    With lustful light he took a sight along that gleaming tool,
    And the dead slow slide as it went inside was calculating, cool.

    Have you ever seen the pistons work on a giant C.P.R.?
    With the driving force of a thousand horse---but you know what
    pistons are---
    Or you think you do, but you haven't a clue on the ins and outs of
    that prick---
    Of the work that's done on a non-stop run by a man like Dead-Eye Dick.

    But Eskimo Nell, so the onlookers tell, lay smiling and aloof,
    With the strength of ten in her abdomen and a vault that was
    bullet-proof.
    Amidships she could take a jet like the flush of a water-closet,
    And she gripped his cock like the forged steel lock on the National
    Safe Deposit.

    Now Dead-Eye Dick could not come quick---he meant to reserve his
    powers;
    He had in mind to grind and grind for a solid couple of hours.
    But she lay for a while with that subtle smile, then the vice-like
    grip grew keener;
    With a gentle sigh she just sucked him dry, with the ease of a
    vacuum cleaner.

    She performed this feat in a way so neat that it set a great defiance
    Against basic laws that govern the course of normal sexual science.
    She singly rode through the well-known code which for aeons has
    stood the test,
    And established rules of established schools in that second or two
    went west.

    And so my friend we approach the end of this copulative epic;
    The effect of this on Dick and his prick was like an anesthetic.
    He slid to the floor and knew no more, his passion past and dead;
    He didn't shout as his tool came out, though it must have stripped
    the thread.

    Mexican Pete sprang to his feet to avenge his pal's affront;
    His long-nosed Colt with a savage jolt he rammed right up her cunt;
    He rammed it hard to the trigger guard and fired it three times three---
    To his surprise she closed her eyes and squealed with ecstacy.

    She rose to her feet and looked so sweet: 'Bully,' she said, 'for you.
    'Though I might have guessed it's about the best you Yankee simps
    can do.
    'When next, my friend, you two intend to sally forth in fun,
    'Get Dead-Eye Dick a sugar-stick and buy yourself a bun.

    'I'm going back to the frozen north, where the pricks are hard and
    strong:
    'That's the land of the all-night stand---and the nights are six
    months long.
    'Where they fit it in as hard as tin---the land where spunk is spunk---
    'Not a trickling stream of luke-warm cream, but a frozen, solid chunk.

    'That's the land where they understand what it is to copulate;
    'Where even the dead share a double bed and the infants masturbate.
    'Back again to the mighty men, to the Terra Bollicum;
    'I go, my friends, to a worthy end; for the north is calling "Come".'

    So when a man grows old and his balls grow cold and the tip of his
    prick turns blue;
    And the hole in the middle refuses to piddle---I'd say he was
    fucked, wouldn't you?

    *
    *

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: http://lists.bcn.mythic-beasts.com/pipermail/bitlist/attachments/20100808/3634439b/attachment.shtml