[BITList] "For this pupil all ages are dark"

[John Feltham]

Begin forwarded message:


There are lots of headmasters and school teachers in the
Wodehouse canon.

First, there was PGW's own physical and moral giant Beak -
Gilkes of Dulwich College. His shadow loomed large over
PGW's early writing.

Then we get these chaps in all those early school stories
and The Little Nugget. Mike's and Psmith's follows. Then
we have that man who gave such an inferiority complex to
Wooster's friend Sipperley and a similar case is found in
a Mulliner story. Rev Upjohn and Rev Abney come in Wooster's
personal life. Did you ever wonder WHAT kind of reports
Gilkes must have sent to Plum's parents? (A glimpse of
one of them can be had in one of his biographies.)

Now read this:

Headmaster Anthony Seldon gives top marks to the lost art of
school-report writing

>From the Telegraph. Tuesday, April 06, 2010

I have been vastly entertained by the letters on school reports in the
Telegraph. My favourite came from the history teacher who remarked:
"When the workers of the world unite it would be presumptuous of
Dewhurst to include himself among their number." And the boy who
went on to become a headmaster, but whose report identified him
as "the naughtiest in the school", reminded me of myself. At school,
I was anything but a model of good behaviour. Perhaps that helps
me understand the mindset of the amiable rogue.

Anthony Seldon is Master of Wellington College

15 of the best: a selection of extracts from school reports submitted
to the Telegraph letters page

"Rugby: Hobbs has useful speed when he runs in the right direction."

"The tropical forests are safe when John enters the woodwork room,
for his projects are small and progress is slow."

"The stick and carrot must be very much in evidence before this
particular donkey decides to exert itself."

"French is a foreign language to Fowler."

"For this pupil all ages are dark."

"Henry Ford once said history is bunk. Yours most certainly is."

"About as energetic as an absentee miner."

"He has given me a new definition of stoicism: he grins and I bear it."

"The improvement in his handwriting has revealed his inability to spell."

"He has an overdeveloped unawareness."

"At least his education hasn't gone to his head."

"Give him the job and he will finish the tools."

"Unlike the poor, Graham is seldom with us."

"Would be lazy but for absence."

"This boy does not need a Scripture teacher. He needs a missionary."


Full story at

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/7555396/School-reports-in-a-class-of-their-own.html#comments 





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