[BITList] Fwd: All Puns Intended.

Wed Sep 16 22:04:40 BST 2009

Begin forwarded message:

From: "william ian lawrie."
Date: 17 September 2009 06:47:52 GMT+10:00

Subject: Fw: All Puns Intended.

.

ALL PUNS INTENDED....

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.

The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A set of jump leads walk into a bar.

The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were a bit cold, so they lit a fire  
in the craft.

It sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it  
too.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were  
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories

After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked  
them to disperse.

'But why,' they asked, as they moved off.

'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open  
foyer.'

7. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Emahl.'

The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.'

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she  
also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, 'They're twins ! If you've seen Juan, you've  
seen Emahl.'

8. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,

Which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.

He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd  
diet,

He suffered from bad breath.

This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ..

A super-calloused, fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis.

-------------------------------------------------------

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