[BITList] COMPUTER OPERATING SYSTEMS FOR AIRCRAFT

[John Feltham]

COMPUTER OPERATING SYSTEMS FOR AIRCRAFT

Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if aeroplanes had  
different operating systems running them.

DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it  
coast till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc.

DOS with QEMM: Same as DOS, but with more leg room for pushing.

Macintosh: All the flight attendants, captains and baggage handlers  
look the same, act the same and talk the same. Every time you ask a  
question, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know and  
everything will be done for you without your knowing, so just shut up.

OS/2: To get on board, you have to have your ticket stamped 10  
different times by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a  
form asking how you want your seating arranged--with the look and feel  
of an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you get on board and  
off the ground, you will have a wonderful trip, except when the rudder  
and flaps freeze, in which case you have time to say your prayers  
before you crash.

Windows: Colorful airport terminal, friendly flight attendants, easy  
access to a plane, and an uneventful takeoff. Then, all in a sudden,  
boom! You blow up without any warning whatsoever.

NT: The terminal and flight attendants all look like those the Windows  
plane uses, but the process of checking in and going through security  
is a nightmare. Once aboard, those passengers with first class tickets  
can go anywhere they want and arrive in half the time, while the vast  
majority of passengers with coach tickets can't even get aboard.

Unix: Everyone brings one piece of the plane. Then they go on the  
runway and piece it together, all the while arguing about what kind of  
plane they're building.

CAIRO: The aeroplane is distributed among 47 different hangars in 13  
airports scattered over 8 states, 4 Canadian provinces, and a remote  
mountain hideaway in Nicaragua. But you don't need to know where the  
airplane is or who it belongs to in order to fly it. Actually, you  
don't fly the aeroplane itself; you fly a simulation that behaves just  
like the real thing except that you don't go anywhere. But that's  
okay, because when the world is at your fingertips you never need to  
leave home.



ooroo

Bad typists of the word, untie.