[BITList] Passports ....

[John Feltham]

LETTER OF THE YEAR

Australian letter of the year This is an actual letter sent to the  
then DFAT Minster, The Hon Alexander Downer and the then Immigration,  
The Hon Minister Amanda Vanstone.

The Government tried in desperation to censure the author, but got no  
where because every legal person who read it nearly wet themselves  
laughing!

Please excuse the language contained within, but I suspect the author  
was somewhat upset? I'll let you decide!

Another happy customer of the Federal government.

A fabulous characteristic of Australians is that we are far more  
direct and outspoken than others when dealing with the sort of elected  
wanker who wouldn't otherwise get the full drift of what they were  
trying to communicate. Below is one such wonderful communication...

Dear Mr. Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and  
still cannot believe this. How is it that K-Mart has my address and  
telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf  
Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still  
asking me where I was born and on what date. For Christ sakes, do you  
guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all  
the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my  
driver'slicence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all  
those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before  
being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those  
insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my  
mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be  
absolutely ****ing astounded if that ever changed between now and when  
I drop dead!!!... ****! I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really  
pissed off this morning.Between you an' me, I've had enough of all  
this bull****!

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my ****ing  
address!!

What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of  
mindless Neanderthal arse-holes workin' there! And another thing, look  
at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a  
beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new  
granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl).

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a **** whether I  
plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to  
do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as  
hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the  
city,and get another ****ing copy of my birth certificate, and to part  
with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!  
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot,  
to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day??

Nooooo..that'd be too ****ing easy and makes far too much sense. You  
would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens  
with our ****ing heads cut off, and then having to find some high  
society wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo!  
You know the photo..the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you  
****ing morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone  
in high-society to confirm that it's me?

Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850!

In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do  
remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also served in both the CMF and  
regular Army something over 30 years(I went to Vietnam in 1967), and  
still have high security clearances.

I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. and Lt  
General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year. However,  
your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify  
who I am; You know.. someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED  
IN ****ING PAKISTAN!!!......a country where they either assassinate or  
hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth  
for not having the 'right sort of government.' You are all ****ing  
idiots




ooroo

Bad typists of the word, untie.