[BITList] an oldie but worth a rerun

[KENNETH567 at aol.com]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement  whereby English will 
be the official language of the European Union rather than  German, which was 
the other possibility. 


As part of the  negotiations, t he British Government conceded that English 
spelling had some  room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in 
plan that would become  known as 'Euro-English'. 

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft  'c'. Sertainly, this will make 
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c'  will be dropped in favour of 
'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards  kan have one less letter. 
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond  year when the 
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words  like fotograf 20% 
shorter. 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new  spelling kan be expekted to 
reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are  possible. 

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which  have always 
ben a deterent to akurate speling . 

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes  of the silent 'e' in the languag is 
disgrasful and it should go away. 

By  the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as 
replasing 'th' with 'z'  and 'w' with 'v'. 

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from  vords kontaining 'ou' 
and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a  reil sensi bl riten styl. 

Zer vil be no mor trubl or  difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu 
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a  united urop vil finali kum tru. 

Und efter ze fifz  yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze 
forst plas. 

If  zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.  
 



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