[BITList] Well educated Brits

[Ronald Thomas]

        >>> Ken Moody 17/08/2007 09:31 >>>
        What do these say about our education system!!!!!

        QUIZMANIA (ITV)
        Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with 'T'.
        Contestant: Doctor.
        Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango.
        Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) . . . Doctor.

        DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)
        Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival
        Every year?
        Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue.
        Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?
        Contestant: Cartons?

        BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
        Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
        Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
        Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
        Contestant: Leicester.

        BBC NORFOLK
        Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
        Contestant: I don't know.
        White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your
        Hand and your elbow?

        Contestant: Arm.
        White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're . . .?
        Contestant: Strong.
        White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
        Contestant: Louis.
        White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song
        What A Wonderful World?
        Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

        LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
        Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
        Contestant: France.
        Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
        Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
        Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is
        The Parthenon?
        Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
        Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
        Contestant: Paris.


        UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
        Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and
        'cheesemongers'?
        Contestant: Homosexuals.
        Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset
        With you.

        THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
        Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all
        Written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the
        Conservative Party?
        Contestant: The Conservative Party.

        BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
        DJ Mark: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
        Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one.  Is it Jewish?

        THE WEAKEST LINK
        Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
        Contestant: Jool carriageway?

        UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
        Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
        Contestant: Goosey?

        GWR FM (Bristol)
        Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
        Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

        RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)
        Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about
        Pensioners: Last Of The ...?
        Caller: Mohicans.

        QUIZMANIA
        Greg Scott: We're looking for a word that goes in front of 'clock'.
        Contestant: Grandfather.
        Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else.
        Contestant: Panda.

        PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
        Phil: What's 11 squared?
        Contestant: I don't know.
        Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
        Contestant: Is it five?

        RICHARD AND JUDY
        Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
        A: Forrest Gump.

        RICHARD AND JUDY
        Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
        Contestant: Er . . .
        Leslie: He makes bread .. .
        Contestant: Er . . .
        Leslie: He makes cakes .. .
        Contestant: Kipling Street?

        MAGIC 52 (NORTHEAST ENGLAND)
        Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
        Contestant: Erm .. .
        Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
        Contestant: 1965?

        SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
        Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
        Contestant: Six.
        Tufnell: Higher!
        Contestant: Five.

        FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)
        Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED
        And PIT.
        Team: Chedpit.

        LINCS FM PHONE-IN
        Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
        Contestant: Barcelona.
        Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
        Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

        RADIO 1 EARLY MORNING SHOW
        Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total?
        Contestant: 23.

        NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM) Jeff Owen: In which
        country is Mount Everest?
        Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it?

        THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT)
        Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes
        the letter 'e'.
        Contestant: Ghana.
        Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic Ocean.
        Contestant: New Zealand.

        NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
        Question: What is the world's largest continent?
        Contestant: The Pacific

        ROCK FM (PRESTON)
        Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a
        famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
        Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

        THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
        Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
        Contestant: Magna Carta.

        JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
        O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
        Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... er . . .
        Er. . three?

        NATIONAL LOTTERY
        Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
        Contestant: Jelly.

        RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2)
        Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek
        goddess of victory?
        Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's?

        BLIND DATE (ITV)
        Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen.
        Boy: Charlotte Bronte.

        CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
        Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
        Caller: Japan.
        Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
        that, I can let you try again.
        Caller: Er . . . Mexico?

        DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)
        Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord of the Rings?
        Contestant: Enid Blyton

        PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
        Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
        Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

        NATIONAL LOTTERY
        Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing . .. what?
        Contestant: Basketball.

        NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ
        Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
        Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor?

        DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
        Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
        Contestant: Holland?
        Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
        Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
        Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
        Contestant: No.

        PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
        Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
        Contestant: Er . . .
        Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
        Contestant: Blimey?
        Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
        Contestant: (Silence)
        Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
        Contestant: Walked?

        NATIONAL LOTTERY
        Dale Winton: Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea: a)
        Irish Sea, b) English Channel, c) North Sea?
        Contestant: Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now,
        Dale. It's on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea.

        THE VAULT
        Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the
        sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
        Contestant: Nostalgia.

        LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
        Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
        Contestant: Jewish.
        Presenter: That's close enough.

        BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1
        Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80
        tonnes?
        Contestant: Ummm .. .
        Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'.
        Contestant: Shark.

        STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
        Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging
        character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
        Contestant: Jesus.





       
               
       




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