[BITList] America's Political Humour

[John Feltham]

American political humor


·         So the Bush years are coming to a close. It's the end of an  
error- Jerry Smith

·         I tell you, the economy's rough. People are standing behind  
President Bush just to get the free shoes - Jay Leno

·         Bush did pretty good. I don't think Bush really has dodged  
anything like that since the Vietnam War - David Letterman

·         NASA now says their $154 million machine that converts urine  
into drinking water is not working properly. How would you like to be  
the astronaut that found that out? - Jay Leno

·         Barack Obama has officially named Hillary Clinton as  
Secretary of State, which I think is a great idea. If anybody can  
bring peace to the Middle East , it's Hillary. Think about it. She has  
proven over and over again you can live side by side with your biggest  
enemy and still make it work - Jay Leno

·         With Barack Obama naming Hillary Clinton as his new  
Secretary of State, the rumor has sprung up that Bill Clinton might  
take over her Senate seat. Bill Clinton held a press conference  
yesterday and said he had no interest in Hillary's seat... or her job  
as Senator, for that matter - Tim Hunter

·         According to an article that just came out in a fitness  
magazine that President Bush always rides a stationary bike on-board  
Air Force One. That's true. Advisors say he pedals really hard because  
he thinks he's powering the plane - Conan O'Brien

·         President Bush was speaking at a news conference in Iraq  
when a journalist threw two shoes at him. Anybody who calls President  
Bush "lame" didn't see him duck - Joe Hickman

·         Palin doesn't understand what all the fuss is about people  
acting like Barack Obama can walk on water. She points out that this  
time of year, anyone can do it in Alaska - Janice Hough

·         You know, the shoe-throwing incident has made Sarah Palin  
want to be president even more. "Free shoes? You betcha!" - Craig  
Ferguson

·         Today somebody threw a pair of shoes at Sarah Palin. And she  
was very upset. She said, "Do you have these in black?" And threw them  
back - Jay Leno

·         President Bush announced before he leaves office, he wants  
to visit the poorest regions of the world. You know, those places  
where people can't afford to buy shoes - Jay Leno

·         On CNN, they brought in an expert on Iraqi culture, and he  
said, "Let me clarify what happened here." He said, "In the Arab  
world, throwing your shoes at someone's head is considered an insult."  
Oh, really? As opposed to here in America , where it's a huge  
compliment?" - Jay Leno

·         A Catholic Cardinal in Chile says that Madonna causes  
"impure thoughts". In order to keep his mind on business, he was  
forced to surround himself with a few extra altar boys - Jake Novak

·         "Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and  
adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what  
they want and their kids pay for it." - Richard Lamm

·         Biblical historians speak of what Mary and Joseph did with  
the gifts from the three wise men. They kept the gold and used the  
frankincense and myrrh as re-gifts - Alan Ray

·         A thief broke into Paris Hilton's house, when she was gone,  
and ransacked her bedroom; it marked the first time a stranger was in   
Paris 's bedroom but not in Paris . Paris got the last laugh, just by  
going through her underwear drawer, the thief caught a nasty sexually  
transmitted disease. Just kidding, Paris doesn't have an underwear  
drawer - Alex Kaseberg












ooroo

If you don't hear the knock of opportunity - build a door.

Anon.



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