[BITList] Fwd: Hell

[John Feltham]

The following is supposedly an actual question given on  a University  
of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so  
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the  
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of  
enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic  
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law  
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some  
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we  
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate  
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once  
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different  
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state  
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.  
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do  
not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go  
to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of  
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of  
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order  
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume  
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls  
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase  
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in  
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes  
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman  
year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and  
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then  
number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and  
has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it  
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,  
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a  
divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh  
my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"







ooroo

If you don't hear the knock of opportunity - build a door.

Anon.



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