[BITList] crazy?

[FS]

*HOSPITAL PHONE MENU*


Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the 
line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the 
Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell 
you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, 
nothing will make you happy anyway..
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term 
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy 
to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie 
down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

 

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable 
person to show you care.

 *Well, my job is done... Your turn!*

Frank
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