[BITList] hold

[CT's]

This is a old one, but still very funny and worth re-telling!!!! 



When girls don't put out!! 

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. 

FOR EXAMPLE: 

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' 

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!' 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear.. 

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' 

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.. 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' 

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis 

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.' 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' 

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' 

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' 

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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