[BITList] Drafting men over 60

[John Feltham]

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down  
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year  
olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be  
able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10  
seconds.  Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day,  
leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate  
on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky  
soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts!  I can't sleep, I'm  
tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some  
asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut  
us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get  up before 10 a.m. Old guys  
always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said,  
'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be  
up killing some fanatical SOB....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we  
put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real  
stretch.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.  We're used to getting  
screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also  
developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as  
an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in  
combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the  
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've  
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning  
to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl.  He still  
hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes,  
not the back of his neck.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little  
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The  
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed  
off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their  
best years are already behind them.

How about recruiting Women...with PMS !!! You think Men have  
attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Lord!!!  If nothing else, put them on  
border patrol.....we  will have it secured the first night!




ooroo

Bad typists of the word, untie.