[BITList] Round engines versus turbines.

[John Feltham]

>
> I don't know who wrote this, but it is VERY well said!
>
> DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE WHO FLEW BEHIND/BETWEEN ROUND ENGINES We  
> gotta get rid of those turbines, they're ruining aviation and our  
> hearing.
>
> A turbine is too simple minded, it has no mystery.  The air travels  
> through it in a straight line and doesn't pick up any of the pungent  
> fragrance of engine oil or pilot sweat.
>
> Anybody can start a turbine.  You just need to move a switch from  
> "OFF" to "START" and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a  
> while.  My PC is harder to start.
>
> Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse and style.  You have  
> to seduce it into starting by pumping and priming.  It's like waking  
> up a not-so-horny mistress to get her going.  On some planes, the  
> pilots aren't even allowed to do it.
>
> Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a lady -like poof  
> and start whining a little louder.
>
> Round engines give a satisfying rattle rattle, click click, BANG,  
> more rattles, another BANG, a big macho FART or two, more clicks, a  
> lot more smoke and finally a serious low pitched roar.  At night the  
> flames curl around the exhaust so seductively.  We like that.  It's  
> a GUY thing.
>
> When you start a round engine, your mind is engaged and you can  
> concentrate on the flight ahead - starting a turbine is like  
> flicking on a ceiling fan: useful, but, hardly exciting.   When you  
> have started his round engine successfully your Crew Chief looks up  
> at you like he'd let you kiss his girl, too!
>
> Turbines don't break or catch fire often enough, which leads to  
> aircrew boredom, complacency and inattention.  A round engine at  
> speed looks and sounds like it's going to blow any minute.  This  
> helps concentrate the mind!
>
> Turbines don't have enough control levers or gauges to keep a  
> pilot's attention.  There's nothing to fiddle with during long  
> flights.
>
> Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman Lamps.  Round  
> engines smell like God intended machines to smell.
>
> Pass this on to old guys who flew recoprocating engines (or their  
> sons, or anyone who flew them, ever).
>
>






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