[BITList] Gingerbeers

[fredmno at aol.com]

?

?Understanding 
Engineers - One
?Two engineering students were walking across a 
university campus
?when
one
?said, "Where did you get such a 
great bike?" The second engineer
?replied,
?"Well, I was walking 
along yesterday, minding my own business, when
?a
beautiful woman 
rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, 
took
off
?all
?her clothes and said, "Take what you 
want."

?The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good 
choice; the
?clothes
probably wouldn't have fitted you 
anyway."
?---------------------------------------------------
Understanding 
Engineers - Two
?To the optimist, the glass is 
half-full.

?To the pessimist, the glass is 
half-empty.

?To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs 
to be.

?---------------------------------------------------

A 
priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for 
a
?particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, 
"What's?
with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen 
minutes!"
?The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such 
inept
golf!"

?The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. 
Let's have a word
?with him."They're rather slow, aren't 
they?"

?The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind 
firemen.They
lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so 
we always
?let them play for free anytime."
?The group fell 
silent for a moment.

?The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I 
will say a special?
prayer for them tonight."
?The doctor said, 
"Good idea.I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
?colleague and see if 
there's anything he can do for them."
?The engineer said, "Why can't 
they play at 
night?"
?-------------------------------------------------
> 
>>> Understanding Engineers - Four
> >>>
> 
>>> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and 
civil
> >>> engineers?
> >>> Mechanical engineers 
build weapons
> >>>
> >>> Civil engineers build 
targets.
> >>>
> >>> 
--------------------------------------------------
> >>>
> 
>>> Understanding Engineers - Five
> >>>
> 
>>> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it 
work?"
> >>>
> >>> The graduate with an 
engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
> >>>
> 
>>> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will 
it
> >>> cost?"
> >>>
> >>> The 
graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
> >>> 
that?"
> >>>
> >>> 
----------------------------------------------------
> 
>>>
> >>> Understanding Engineers - Six
> 
>>>
> >>> Three engineering students were gathered 
together discussing who
> >>> must
> >>> 
have
> >>> designed the human body. One said, "It was a 
mechanical engineer.
> >>> Just look
> >>> at all 
the joints."
> >>>
> >>> Another said, "No, it was 
an electrical engineer. The nervous 
> >>> system
> 
>>> has
> >>> many thousands of electrical 
connections."
> >>>
> >>> The last one said, "No, 
actually it had to have been a civil
> >>> engineer.
> 
>>> Who
> >>> else would run a toxic waste pipeline 
through a recreational area?"
> >>>
> >>> 
---------------------------------------------------
> >>>
> 
>>> Understanding Engineers - Seven
> >>>
> 
>>> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
> 
>>>
> >>> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it 
doesn't have enough
> >>> features yet.
> 
>>>
> >>> 
------------------------------------------
> >>>
> 
>>> Understanding Engineers - Eight
> >>>
> 
>>> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out 
to
> >>> him
> >>> and
> >>> said, 
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
> 
>>>
> >>> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in 
his pocket.
> >>>
> >>> The frog spoke up again 
and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back
> >>> into a
> 
>>> beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."
> 
>>>
> >>> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, 
smiled at it and
> >>> returned
> >>> It
> 
>>> to the pocket.
> >>>
> >>> The frog 
then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
> >>> 
princess,
> >>> I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING 
you want."
> >>>
> >>> Again, the engineer took 
the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
> >>> into his
> 
>>> pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've 
told
> >>> you I'm a
> >>> beautiful princess and 
that I'll stay with you for one week and do
> >>> 
anything
> >>> you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
> 
>>>
> >>> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I 
don't have time for a
> >>> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now 
that's cool !

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