[BITList] Australian Letter of the Year

[John Feltham]

You may have seen this one already. The good ones keep coming around....



Australian Letter of the Year

A fabulous characteristic of Australians is that we are far more  
direct and outspoken than others when dealing with the sort of elected  
wanker who wouldn't otherwise get the full drift of what they were  
trying to communicate. Below is one such wonderful communication...


Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe  
this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows  
that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997,  
and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born  
and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all  
the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my  
driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all  
those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before  
being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those  
insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my  
mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be  
absolutely fucking astounded if that ever changed between now and when  
I drop dead!!!...

SHIT!...I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this  
morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You  
send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking  
address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang  
of mindless Neanderthal arseholes workin' there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden?  
I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New  
Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a  
Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a  
shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever  
got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you  
me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the  
city, and get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, and to  
part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot,  
to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo..  
that'd be too fucking easy and makes far too much sense. You would  
much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with  
our fucking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society  
whanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know  
the photo...the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you fucking  
morons


Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

PS. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone  
in high society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in  
this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up  
arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have  
also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years  
(I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.  
I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. and Lt  
General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.


However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to  
verify who I am; You know.. someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND  
RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN!!!...... a country where they either  
assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from  
the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government.'

You are all Fucking idiots







ooroo

If you don't hear the knock of opportunity - build a door.

Anon.



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