[BITList] Guidelines for Successful Engineers

[Colin t]

Guidelines for Successful Engineers

1. When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

2. Experience is directly proportional to the quantity of equipment ruined or destroyed.

3. Past experience is always true, never be misled by present facts.

4. In case of doubt make it sound convincing.

5. Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.

6. Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else.

7. Record of data is essential; it indicates you have been doing something.

8. No matter what result is anticipated, someone will always fit facts to it.

9. No matter what happens, there is always someone who believes it happened according to his pet theory.

10. The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

11. That quantity which when added to, subtracted from, divided into, multiplied by the result obtained experimentally will give the correct result, is known as a constant.

12. Experiments must be reproducible; they should always fail in the same way.

13. If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

14. An experiment may be considered successful if no more than half of the data must be discarded to obtain agreement with your pet theory.

15. For neatness, always draw the curves first, and afterwards plot the data.

16. If an experiment is a complete failure it can always be used as a bad example.

17. Summary:    When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.
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